Voldemort's Absurd Plans!
by Anonymous Xylophones
Summary: Voldemort finally has plans probably more successful than the rest of the others that will get rid of the boywhohaslivedtoomanytimes. Will he succeed? No, he won’t. Well, that kind of ruined the ending, but you’ll still read it, right?


**I felt bored and didn't really want to write anything about Sonic for right now. So I decided to write stupid things about Voldemort's plans. I won't update it much, however. I'll do it only when I feel bored and I don't really want to focus on Sonic stories. Okay? But, hopefully, I can try to update this story as well. My mind always seem to wander around.**

**Anyways, read and review, my readers!**

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**_Intoduction..._**

In the Riddle house……

"I got it!" the Dark Lord finally exclaimed after hours of working and working and working and working and working and working and working and working and…. Well, you get the idea.

Immediately, he called all of his loyal minions to come to a meeting. After about half a minute later, no one showed up.

"Where is everyone?" he muttered in rage. Then he suddenly remembered that he has a meeting room in his house (never ask me how, he just does) and that everyone must have went there. _Silly me, he thought._

So he went to a door that was locked.

He unlocked it and opened it. Ta-daa! New magic!

Anyways, what he saw in front of him made him gasp.

No one was there!

Voldemort wondered why they were all late…. until an idea hit him… literally.

"Ow!"

Anyways, he thought that the reason being is that…. everyone beside him is dead!

But since that was such a ridiculous hypothesis, he didn't believe that was true. So he tried to call them again.

And then after waiting for about a half of an hour, he tried again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And continued trying to summon his supporters until he stopped trying. Actually, he only stopped trying because he has no idea what he was trying to summon his minions in the first place.

So then he went back to his desk and went back to work.

Only to find out that he had written down the work already so he wouldn't forget.

So he remembered now.

Then he tried to summon his loyalists…. only to find out that it isn't working.

So……

He literally went to each of their houses to open the doors and then yell at them for not obeying their master. For example, "You bastard! Do you ever pay attention? Get yourself in the meeting room before I punish you!"

Usually it works…..

But unfortunately, there are some Death Eaters who are just too lazy to get up or they just never hear Voldemort's verbal warning.

And guess what happened?

No one came. Not even one.

Suspicious, he went into one house and looked around. He saw that it was perfectly neat and that nothing was damaged. He explored further into the house only to find...

A dead Lucius Malfoy!

Voldemort didn't believe that Lucius could be killed so quickly, but then again... who couldn't?

In order to satisfy that Lucius is dead, he magically brang a stick to him from outside and started poking him with it.

After about 50 pokes... Voldemort was satisfied. Lucius was dead and therefore the rest had to be dead as well. He muttered as he went back to his house about cursing Dumbledore for killing every single one of his Death Eaters, though he didn't know how the headmaster had managed to do that.

To tell you the truth…. Dumbledore hadn't killed even one... yet.

For after Voldemort left, all the former Death Eaters went out to have a meeting of their own... away from their lord's house, of course.

"How long do you think it will take for him to realize that we were faking?" Lucius asked, indicating towards the Riddle house, also wincing since he has been poked for about 50 times with a stick. Another former Death Eater just shrugged and answered the question without hesitation.

"Long enough," Snape answered.

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**Oh well. Seems that Voldemort will have to activate his plan all by himself...**

**Perhaps, I can give you a hint of what's to come...**

**Ready?**

**You better be...**

**For I'm going to give two very special quotes.**

**And perhaps you can make something out of it...**

"What's all this number nonsense?"

**And...**

"Umm... My Lord? That's not working..."

**Please review...**


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